Gettin' Some

I'm sometimes a people-watcher. I find turns of phrase especially interesting and illuminating. A person can often put on a mask that doesn't match the 'script', so to speak. A brave face can be betrayed by uncertain words, as sincerity can be undermined by apathy. The words we choose are the soundtrack by which our thoughts are conveyed, and frequently are indicative of truer, if not comforting, emotions.

Unfortunately, understanding the significance of a particular word choice comes at the cost of knowing the person using it. Understanding how their word choices change with their mood, as well as their general vocabulary, and even their self-image, reveals this unique palette of language that is as distinct and discreet as the person using it.

There are, of course, certain phrases that are colloquial and quite likely to turn up in conversation regardless of where you may be, or with whom you're speaking. Such as it was, at a recent party, one guest used the term "gettin' some" in context with a story about her husband. It set of the little chime in the back of my mind that tells me I've just heard something significant. Of course, it would take time for that thought to mature.

We all know what "gettin' some" implies. If you hear the words "you were just hoping to get some," you know you're, in fact, not "gettin' some". When a friend disappears from a party, and someone tells you he's off "gettin' some", you need no further explanation. But when I heard it in use on that particular evening, I just lost a little respect for it.

The actual phrase I heard was "he already knew he was gettin' some, so he didn't have to [insert activity]". That, to me, implies that she (the woman sharing this story) was surrendering something which she would not have otherwise been inclined to provide. The term "gettin' some" sounds to me like a capitulation, in the same way a child is compelled to share a candy bar with a sibling. They don't want to hand over half of their treat, but something, be it a sense of duty or an insistent parent, is taking that choice away from them.

The real problem I have with the phrase is that it carries the connotation that it's handed out as a reward, when it in fact has become more of a consolation prize by the very nature of its dissemination. No one likes to share under duress, nor do they like to be shared with by compulsion. To do so causes it to lose all of its intimate value.

If I'm "gettin' some" because I've done all the right things, said the right words, then it's by some merit other than the esteem in which I'm held that's gettin' it for me. I personally only want to 'get some' if it's because that person wants to give it to me. Otherwise, I'm going to receive it with the same enthusiasm which accompanies my vehicle registration. After all, I paid my dues, so I'm owed my tags.

"Gettin' some" is not a business transaction (in most cases), something you earn, or are owed. "Gettin' some" is not a prize, reward, or bargaining tool, and doling it out like some commodity cheapens both it, and the person receiving it. At it's very core, "gettin' some" should be about how awesome you are, and how awesome you make someone else feel.

As it is, it's hard to pass up for any reason. But recognizing its value to the person "givin' some", and their motivations, can help us understand our own value to that person. I'm certainly not saying that you should ever pass up the opportunity, but recognize it for what it is, and if "gettin' some" doesn't reflect the value that you have for yourself, at least be a smart consumer. There could be greater costs in the long run.