Know When to Hold 'Em

I've always been fascinated by women, often with a healthy measure of dismay. They are full of contradiction and conflicting logic. And at the same time they are manipulative, crafty, devious, and completely innocent. I have trouble remembering a time when a woman didn't hold back everything you wanted to know, but offered brief peeks at all the things you never expected to hear.

A woman will sit across the table from you and ask you to reveal your most intimate secrets, but never tell you why she wants to know them. You may be lucky to find out what she intends to do with that knowledge, but don't hold out any hope of understanding her reasons. And while you sit there completely vulnerable and exposed, you may possibly discern that she is taking something from your revelations, perhaps you'll even call it joy. But one thing you will seldom ever find is reciprocity. At least not without the conditions under which she affords it.

What I've come to understand about women is that they want to know all. Particularly what they mean to you, a man. It may very well be for the benefit of her ego. It could possibly be that she just wants to know how well she's set that hook. The only thing you can guarantee is that whatever her reasons, the cards in her hand will be held very close to her chest.

I have become particularly susceptible to this kind of chicanery. I accept this about myself. I've spent a long time seeking unconditional acceptance and I've looked at complete self-exposure as a mechanism to get me there. Depending on the girl and her aims, this can be disastrous. Speaking from a position of authority, it often is.

Women are guarded, and rightfully so. They are almost in constant danger of being exploited physically, emotionally, or any other way you can imagine. I'd almost describe them as skittish. But it all ends up being part of the game we play with each other. You can take the chance, as I did, and share everything against your better judgement. Or you can take the chance in holding your own cards close. That may be enough for her, and you may get what you want. Honestly, odds are slim either way.

I've been sitting across that table more often than I'd like to admit. Each time I am amazed at my willingness to share. Every time, I find that I am holding onto the hope of reciprocity. I'm not a bad card player, but holding those cards close at times gets to be very lonely. For me, the chance of getting hurt by sharing too much and never knowing what it means to her is worse than folding the cards and never finding out if I had a winning hand.