All the King's Men

I had a teacher that once said he wouldn't be surprised if I ended up in the state legislature. He said it to the entire class, in fact. It wasn't a private comment to me, or to my parents. It was a public statement of belief. I sometimes wonder about that.

Egotism is a proper and fitting character flaw for most politicians. You could, in most cases, call it a prerequisite. Narcissism fits the paradigm well. So does being a panderer, in general. Taken together, I never thought that politics was a career path with which I wanted to be identified if it involved these characteristics. Then I turned thirty-five.

The realization hit me last year that the President of the United States is an office that's open to citizens who are of that age.

Do I want to be President? No. Certainly not. So why consider it?

For the very reasons that I mention not wanting to be identified as a politician. Anyone who actually wants the job is an asshole of some kind. A friend asked me about which side I'd take if I were to make a legitimate bid. Would I be for Big Government, or for Big Business. In his view, those are the only two sides to take. Historically, he as precedence. Republican or Democratic seem to be the only two viable parties in American politics.

But why are those our only choices?

Right wingers also tend to be capitalists, and I support free market economies and capitalism. They work. But as part of that identity, I'd have to rub shoulders with Conservative Christians who think you can "counsel" the gay out of someone, or in some way believe that legislative authority can be imposed on a vagina. Impossibly large conglomerates of international wealth are the backbone of our economy and must be coddled indefinitely, and equally ridiculous notions of magnanimous oligarchy are the brand they pimp.

Yeah. I'm definitely not one of those.

On the flip side of that, the Left has a driving need to save you from yourself. You can't be trusted to make your own decisions, buy your own health insurance, or even determine whether or not you need it. The retirement and stability of each generation is built upon the earnings and labor of their progeny. As a citizen, you are entitled to a share of the proceeds from those in the community, and must surrender a portion of your earnings to support others. Your liberties are inconvenient and dangerous to you, and it's really better for all involved if you leave those decisions to the government.

Molon labe, bitches. Molon labe.

The problem with two-party politics (because let's face it, Libertarians, Greens, and Independents have no real shot) is that to get what you want, you have to stomach what you can tolerate. At what point did this become a good idea?

For the next seventeen months we will be inundated with advertisements, smear campaigns, promises, rhetoric, debates, lies, and scandals until the polls finally open and we cast votes for the Crap Sandwich or the Douche Bag. We know it will be one of them. May as well throw in with the one you find to be the lesser evil.

Back to my original question of why consider running for President. I did agree, after all, that I don't want the job. But more than that, I don't want the people I describe above to have it either. No one who actually thinks that they are the best candidate has the humility, moral fortitude, or capacity for critical thought to do it.

Can I do the job? I bet you five dollars that I can't. At least not any better than the last guy. What I do believe that I can do is show the American people that their government can be returned to them. I can show them that they are not beholden to rich people backed by big companies or rich people who hate big companies (you have to admit that the only candidates you're going see are wealthy ones with exploratory committees, both Republican and Democrat).

I'm just a working class guy, with a moderate credit score, a lot of questions about God, and a working respect for people not like me. I can't make any promises except one: I will question everything and ask honestly, 'Is this the best we can do?'